Have you ever wondered why birds of feather flock together? Eagles fly with eagles and turkeys (well they don’t fly well at all), but hang with other turkeys.
It’s simple–they’re all headed in the same direction. In the book “The Compound Effect” a basic principle Darren Hardy drives home is how small habitual choices can positively or negatively affect you over time. Well renowned business philosopher Jim Rohm researched the “Law of Associations,” which suggests we are all a direct reflection of the five people we associate with the most. The way we walk, talk, think, dress, our income, health, accomplishments and even values will reflect on those five people. If the five people you affiliate with have negative philosophies, it’s unlikely you will have a positive one. Do your relationships with close colleagues have a themes of blame, disempowerment, or themes of responsibility, self-reflection, and empowerment? If these five people you are continuously around constantly complain, blame others, are generally negative, what is the likelihood you will stay on the upward swing of the compound effect? Not likely!
The point is you need to be acutely aware of the company you keep. Observe those you “flock with,” what destination are they headed towards? Where is it you want to be headed? Are the people around you more successful than you? Are they people you aspire to be, with the kind of life you want? Are they living on the upward or downward swing of the compound effect? This is not complicated; it’s a pass or fail test. Either those five people you flock with are bringing you up or they are bringing you down. Which is it?
Here is the tougher question that takes some honest reflection: are YOU pushing your five’s average up or down? Do you share your success and excitement when you have it? If you are unhappy with your results, do you call a close colleague to complain and place blame? This part of compound effect philosophy requires compassionate awareness. Having compassion and direction are not mutually exclusive. It takes careful thought and discernment on the relationships we bear to see whether they empower us to realize ourdreams or they get in the way.
Hello, I just stopped in to visit your blog and thought I’d say I enjoyed myself.
Very good, you are not only judged by the company you keep but they can lift you up or drag you down. Choose your friends wisely,
Thanks for the post Bob! I agree always choose your friends wisely!
What about if you have a brother or sister you are taking care of or visiting on a weekly basis that drag you down, but your friends are positive?
Hi Amanda….thanks for your question! According to JR you are the average of the 5 people you associate with the most. So although your brother or sister may be bringing you down, your friends who are positive will raise your average. Please visit my blog again! Best, Sean
Nice, warm and fuzzy advice. Remember though….everyone goes through difficult times; and to disassociate with a friend, or two because they might be a little negative is pretty shallow. Hard to stay upbeat and focused all the time. I’m just curious does this philosophy apply to senior level VP’s
They seem to be the worst in my opinion. Must be having to always answer to ROI. And having to fire some Turkeys
Hi Jay, thanks for visiting and post. I love when people take time to leave insightful comments. I see your point. However, I believe JR would say there are certain people you would spend 3 min with, others an entire day, some days, and finally some weeks. The point is not to turn our backs on anyone but be mindful of who we spend the most of our time with. I remember on occasions talking to certain colleagues who were negative and complained all the time, and I had to limit the time I spend with them or they would bring me down. Thanks again for your thoughts, and please visit again as I post every week. Best, Sean
Truly agree. That’s why its wise to choose good colleagues over great companies. Its people that create great companies.
Businesses ignite on “Passion” and blow out when focus shifts to “Just Profits”
Hi Trushar, thanks for the comment! I agree the power people and a common goal can have a tremendous impact! Please visit again. Best, Sean
I totally agree that the people around you can somehow over time influence the way you think and eventually act and share everyone’ idea that choosing to stick around positive people is not only beneficial for one’s success but it also improve the overall mood: who would want to start the day listening to someone moaning and complaining. Nevertheless, if this apply to business and colleagues it is fairly easy to try and keep away from those negative people you can easily identify. However, telling one of your closest friend you no longer want to see him because his attitude has a negative influence on your life and career is not only difficult but ethically questionable….
Hi Roberto, you bring up some great points especially if it’s ethical to turn your back on a close friend. I would suggest that it’s not about rejecting someone; it’s more about limiting the amount of time you spend with them. Some people you will spend minutes with, some hours, some days, and some weeks. It’s about been attentive to the influences in your life. Thanks again for taking time and commenting! Best, Sean
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I have recently had a conversation like this with my 16 year old daughter. At the time, she was (unfortunately) dating a guy who dropped out of high school and whose only ambition was the next party. She argued that he really is a sweet guy but I told her that if he continues on this road, he is destined for prison or death on the street whereas her ambition is leading her toward a law degree; he barely had a grasp on the english language (I say fasiciously) and she has been well-spoken since the age of 2. Needless to say the relationship did not last long and she now is more discerning about what the Bible refers to as “equally yoked”.